She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
