There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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