An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
