forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
