hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
