I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
