dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
