I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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