i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
