this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's like iHOP with fire
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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