I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
