i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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