Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
