I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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