I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
