So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
