We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
