oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize