I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
