her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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