When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
