When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
