She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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