omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
