He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
