I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
