Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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