I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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