it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
