i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
