i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
