just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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