there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
