he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
