Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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