I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
