no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
