Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
