if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
