dude i'm inner monologue high
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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