i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
