Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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