I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
