just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
