I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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