Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
