the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my poor anus
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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