My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize
