there's paper in my vomit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
