Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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