I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
