6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
