The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
