Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
