Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize