tell your sister to shave her snatch
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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