I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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