yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize